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I Feel Pessimistc

I have a pain so deep you’ll never see
I locked it away and hid the key.
If I ever really could share it
You wouldn’t look at me the same I swear it.
I’ve seen things I shouldn’t have to see
But the only one who ever knew was me.
I buried my emotions deep inside my soul
All I want to do is close my eyes
It’s like an eternal torture that never dies
These voices that fill my head
Telling me I’m way better off dead
This pain of living hurts my heart
Should I have ended it from the start?
It’s like when I get home I take off a mask
Faking happiness is nearly an impossible task
But some how I manage to get by
Going through everyday about to cry
One day maybe it’ll be okay
But of course that day is not today.
Will this pain ever go away?
Maybe tomorrow but not today.

I am strange

I don’t why I always say things that catch people off guard. As I do often, I says things that are disconcerting. Unexpected.
But then, I know how it feels when people look right through you , or worse, see you as something or someone other than what you are.
That is why I try to always be myself and no one else, but that’s so difficult.

Spring Feels

Near the edge of the path, the grass gives away to wild flowers, some pink, blue, purple, red. The wind stirs the grass around my feet,
sending a clean smell of blossoms and dirt into the air. I reach down and snap off one of the buds and roll in in my hand.
It’s so ripe in tint and texture that I expect to look down and see my palm turn red, but it isn’t. The bud keeps it’s color and my palm isn’t stained.
It is a rare moment in spring when both buds on the tree and flowers on the ground are red. The air is cool and at the same time warm. I can now see
why so many people love this season, not only for the weather, but for the flowers and nature.

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